Guide to Transitioning
If you’re questioning your gender or have realised you’re trans, these are some tips and online resources about some things you might be wondering about. You probably won’t be interested in all of them, and that’s normal, only do the things you want to do for yourself. Gender Construction Kit has good guides to many of these things as well, some of which are linked.
Also see our dedicated guides to transitioning in Oxford, in the University, and Medically.
Also see our dedicated guides to transitioning in Oxford, in the University, and Medically.
Table of Contents
Bras
- Introduction by Big Sis Lilly on Reddit
- A Bra That Fits
- Introduction by Gender Construction Kit
- Guide from Hudson’s FtM Resource Guide
- Hair removal methods by Naomi Lauren on Quora
- Laser and electrolysis clinics in Oxford
- Facial hair guide from Hudson’s FtM Resource Guide
- Transmasc shaving tips by Point of Pride
- Transfem
- Tumblr post by the Transgender Teen Survival Guide
- Reddit thread on r/transfashionadvice
- Transmasc
- Advice for Short Guys by Hudson’s FtM Resource Guide
- Summer Tips for Trans Guys by Jackson Bird
- Guide by LGBT Youth Scotland
- Guide (UK) by Gender Construction Kit
- Our guide to transitioning in the University
- Introduction by Gender Construction Kit
- Guide from Hudson’s FtM Resource Guide
- Being Trans & Protesting by Green and Black Cross
- Stonewall Was a Riot
- Transfem guide by the Terrence Higgins Trust
- Transmasc guide by the Terrence Higgins Trust
- How to Tuck by Stacy Fatemi
- Guide by Gender Construction Kit
- TransVoiceLessons on YouTube
- Guide by Gender Construction Kit
Bras
This is a general introduction to bras for transfem people and this is a set of guides with more detailed information. You don’t have to wear a bra, whether you have boobs or not, but if you want to, it’s worth noting that bra size calculators don’t always work pre-HRT, so it’s best to start off by measuring your band size (go larger if in-between) and using AAA as a cup size. If padded, this also creates an impression of boobs and is significantly cheaper than breast forms.
Binding
This is a good introduction to binding and this is a more detailed guide.
- Spectrum Outfitters (UK) – this pamphlet from them contains information on useful stretches, safe usage, and washing instructions.
- Trans Shop UK
- gc2b (US)
Body and Facial hair
For transfem people, this is a good overview of methods for removing body and facial hair. For clinics which offer laser hair removal and electrolysis, see our guide to being trans in Oxford.
For transmasc people, this is an introduction to growing, styling, and enhancing facial hair – it also discusses minoxidil, an over-the-counter treatment that promotes hair growth. This is a guide to shaving for transmasc people.
For as smooth a shave as possible, apply ample shaving foam to warm, wet skin (ideally after a bath or shower), rub round a little bit to make sure there are no gaps and leave to soak for a minute or two. Do the whole area swiping down/in the direction of hair growth and then again (with foam reapplied) swiping up/against the direction of hair growth. Rinse the razor under hot water every two or three swipes, but take the foam off first so you can reapply it for the next pass.
For transmasc people, this is an introduction to growing, styling, and enhancing facial hair – it also discusses minoxidil, an over-the-counter treatment that promotes hair growth. This is a guide to shaving for transmasc people.
For as smooth a shave as possible, apply ample shaving foam to warm, wet skin (ideally after a bath or shower), rub round a little bit to make sure there are no gaps and leave to soak for a minute or two. Do the whole area swiping down/in the direction of hair growth and then again (with foam reapplied) swiping up/against the direction of hair growth. Rinse the razor under hot water every two or three swipes, but take the foam off first so you can reapply it for the next pass.
Clothes
This tumblr post and this reddit thread both contain good transfem fashion advice. Clothes which show or draw attention to your shoulders (e.g. boat necks, spaghetti straps, puff sleeves) can make them seem wider, while clothes that flare out at the waist (e.g. skater skirts), or have a raised or emphasised waistline (e.g. tie-waists) make your hips seem wider. Volume, detail, and bold colours all help to draw attention downwards and offset the upper body. This post also has some tips on how to look tomboyish as a trans girl.
For transmascs, layering, especially with loose or larger clothing, can help conceal curves (e.g. wearing an unbuttoned oversized shirt over something else). This is a good video on how to dress in summer when layering is more difficult. Clothes which draw attention to your shoulders (e.g. baseball shirts) can make them seem wider, while elastic bands on sweaters or trousers can adhere to and therefore emphasise your waist; belts or ties can be used to prevent this. This is a guide to clothes for short guys, although beware of ordering from the US, which will incur a customs charge.
Charity shops often have a unique selection of clothes in uncommon sizes, for very affordable prices. If at all possible, try things on first; you will have about half the success rate ordering clothes online as you will in person.
For transmascs, layering, especially with loose or larger clothing, can help conceal curves (e.g. wearing an unbuttoned oversized shirt over something else). This is a good video on how to dress in summer when layering is more difficult. Clothes which draw attention to your shoulders (e.g. baseball shirts) can make them seem wider, while elastic bands on sweaters or trousers can adhere to and therefore emphasise your waist; belts or ties can be used to prevent this. This is a guide to clothes for short guys, although beware of ordering from the US, which will incur a customs charge.
Charity shops often have a unique selection of clothes in uncommon sizes, for very affordable prices. If at all possible, try things on first; you will have about half the success rate ordering clothes online as you will in person.
Coming Out
This is a step-by-step guide to coming out as transgender. This guide is a little old but contains some good suggestions for things to say. You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to, or if you don’t feel safe or comfortable doing so. If you do, be aware that cis people will likely find it more of a surprise than you expect – they don’t tend to think about these things very much. If you’re still questioning, you can also just tell people you’re thinking about your gender, which gives them time to adjust, lets you see how they react, and may feel like less of a commitment.
Details and Documents
This is a comprehensive set of guides to updating your identity documents in the UK, including passports, driving licences, and degree/exam certificates. For information about changing your details within the university, see here.
To change your name, you can make your own deed poll for free with two non-family witnesses and an online generator like this or this. To update your passport, you will need a doctor’s note confirming your gender, and, for your name, a deed poll and proof of use, such as a payslip, bill, or bank statement. Banks and building societies have different policies on what is required to change your details. If necessary, you can always switch to one which only requires a deed poll, such as Starling.
To change your name, you can make your own deed poll for free with two non-family witnesses and an online generator like this or this. To update your passport, you will need a doctor’s note confirming your gender, and, for your name, a deed poll and proof of use, such as a payslip, bill, or bank statement. Banks and building societies have different policies on what is required to change your details. If necessary, you can always switch to one which only requires a deed poll, such as Starling.
Eyebrows
If you want to shape your eyebrows, many people recommend getting it done by a professional, although if you are presenting male be aware that there are different techniques for men. If you want to do it yourself with tweezers, this is the best guide I’ve found, and this site contains some helpful tips on how to compliment different face shapes. The hair will not regrow indefinitely, so make absolutely sure you know exactly what you’re doing and only do a little bit on any given day. Remember to take a step back from time to time to see them in the context of your face.
Hair
You apply shampoo to the roots and scalp to remove buildup and conditioner to the ends to make your hair smooth and shiny. Don’t do this every day, the optimum amount for most people is two or three times a week, unless your hair is oily or you’ve been exercising. Many people caution against products which contain sulfates, which helps create a lather, as they can strip away oils and lead the scalp to produce excess sebum to compensate.
For trans-friendly hairdressers, see our guide to being trans in Oxford. You can also cut your own hair! Although be aware that it takes a bit of practice, and you will need hair-cutting scissors or clippers.
For trans-friendly hairdressers, see our guide to being trans in Oxford. You can also cut your own hair! Although be aware that it takes a bit of practice, and you will need hair-cutting scissors or clippers.
Makeup
This is a good all-round guide to makeup for transfem people. If you’re interested in makeup but don’t know where to start, pick one thing to practice and get really good at it – concealer, mascara, and eyeliner are all fairly simple and subtle ways to look more feminine. There are countless tutorials online but remember that everyone’s face and aesthetic preferences are unique so not every technique will work for you. Developing a routine requires experimentation and input from a variety of sources. In particular, I recommend searching for “feminising makeup” routines on YouTube, sorting in chronological order (as the most-viewed trans youtubers are not a representative sample), and trying out any tips which come up more than once.
You can ignore the specific products and brushes people use, any set of brushes can be repurposed to suit your needs. The only must is a makeup sponge/beauty blender. Most products are designed to be used in small amounts and added incrementally if necessary; you will probably use too much at first. Harsh white lighting will make knowing where to blend much easier.
You can ignore the specific products and brushes people use, any set of brushes can be repurposed to suit your needs. The only must is a makeup sponge/beauty blender. Most products are designed to be used in small amounts and added incrementally if necessary; you will probably use too much at first. Harsh white lighting will make knowing where to blend much easier.
Packers
This is a basic introduction to packing, and this is a more detailed guide.
- FtM Pitstop
- ReelMagik
- Peacock Products
- Transguys.com
- TransGuySupply (holds a monthly giveaway of three packers – if you are under 23, you can apply here)
Period Pants
Some places which sell gender-affirming period pants include:
Protests
This is a guide for trans people on staying safe and your rights while protesting in the UK. This site attempts to maintain a list of trans protests happening in the UK.
Sexual health
See this guide on sexual health for trans women and transfeminine/non-binary people, and this guide for trans men and transmasculine/non-binary people. This is an article which explores lesser known sexual side-effects of transfem people taking HRT.
Skincare
This guide and this video both give a good overview for people new to skincare, although many people find their skin clears up (or acts up) after starting hormones. The most important thing is to apply sunscreen every day, which helps prevent both skin cancer and wrinkles.
Tucking
This is a guide to tucking, although it’s worth noting that a) you don’t have to tuck, and it won’t make much of a difference with clothes which are loose or flare out, and b) the method which involves shoving your testicles back up your inguinal canals is very difficult and may lead to a risk of developing a hernia unless you’ve been on hormones long enough for them to significantly atrophy. This is a guide which includes places you can get tucking underwear.
Voice
This is a playlist of the most important videos from TransVoiceLessons, whose work is the basis for the most up-to-date understanding of vocal gender modification. People are often put off by the amount of theory in her videos, but this can be ignored as long as you can distinguish the relevant sound qualities and understand that the exercises are exploratory.
Another resource is L’s Guide on Reddit. It isn’t as theoretically or technically accurate but it does provide a wide variety of exercises in different areas, which might be helpful for people who feel stuck.
General advice:
Key sound qualities:
For technical terms, please see the glossary.
Another resource is L’s Guide on Reddit. It isn’t as theoretically or technically accurate but it does provide a wide variety of exercises in different areas, which might be helpful for people who feel stuck.
General advice:
- Never strain or do anything painful with your voice – your initial focus should be finding a way to produce and sustain a given sound as comfortably and effortlessly as possible. Make sure you aren’t clenching any unnecessary muscles in your face or throat.
- Stay hydrated and take breaks. Voice isn’t something you drill over and over, progress comes from reflection and experimentation. Aim to develop awareness and familiarity with the overall sensation of creating certain sounds.
Key sound qualities:
- Pitch: Pitch is often overemphasised in terms of gender perception – anyone can feminise or masculinise their voice through training regardless of their (initial) vocal range. It’s still good to get comfortable holding higher or lower notes and speaking at a higher or lower pitch, although this will become easier after learning to control vocal weight.
- Weight: Vocal weight is the amount of “buzziness” in your voice. Untrained testosterone-exposed voices are heavier or buzzier, while non-testosterone-exposed voices are lighter. Reducing your vocal weight also enables greater control over higher pitches and vice-versa. Listen to the difference between heavy and light here and then try the exercises.
- Size (aka Resonance): This is the primary factor in gender perception and is determined primarily by the amount of space in your mouth and throat. In short, a small size sounds female and a big size sounds male. Try these imitation exercises to practice changing the size of your voice.
- Fullness: Fullness is the balance of size and weight – a small size with a heavy weight sounds too buzzy, or too full, while a big size with a light weight sounds “hollow”, or not full enough. Learning to hear fullness makes it much easier to diagnose and avoid common issues in vocal gender modification.
- Constriction: When you try something new with your voice, you often end up unintentionally constricting your false vocal folds, creating a “noisy” or “raspy” quality which both feels and sounds uncomfortable. Learning to consciously control this both helps avoid strain and lets you sound more natural. Listen to the sound of constriction vs retraction here and try the exercises.
- Intonation: Women tend to use variation in pitch more to communicate emphasis and nuance whereas men tend to use variation in volume. Feminine intonation in a masculine-sounding voice is responsible for the stereotypical “gay guy voice”. Patterns of emphasis are fairly culturally specific so practice by listening to and trying to mimic people of the same age and region as you.
For technical terms, please see the glossary.
Wigs
This is a good guide to wigs.
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Updated May 2022
Updated May 2022